Is it a full moon? Or just free viewings?

Today was a weird day. First off, 16 years ago today, I lost a good friend, and so I didn't sleep much. I always get sentimental and remorseful since he's not here and I get everything I want so last night before I went to bed, I asked life to help me get up early. I'm so sick of rolling out of bed and feeling like someone just kicked me in the face. I just want some sunshine and a morning run.

5:24am. Well I'm awake. But sadly it's raining, but I remember what I asked and decide not to waste the day so I get up and do some yoga, have some fruit and start my work... which is from home, so I don't even need to shower. For once, I ACTUALLY sit through a full 8 hours of work and finish everything I was supposed to accomplish this week. Mid-day, I see this bright thing in the sky...... what is that?? It isn't,,... it can't possibly... no yup, it's actual sunshine. I think its been raining for..... for so long I can't remember when I saw the sun last. And just in time to love it up.

I jump into my Nike's, flick on my ipod and am off. Now regularly I would just ignore the world, literally you could be choking on a gumdrop and I'd keep running. I would. I love running and well... the sun is out! I see a couple who is obviously lost so I stop and be a good Samaritan for once. They are looking for the park that I'm going to, so I give them directions and tell them I'm running the long way but if they get lost I'll find them again so not to worry. I run for 8 mile, glorious miles of sunshine, sweat and swamp ass. Yeah, swamp ass. Did you really think girls stayed pretty while trying to improve their running time? Well we don't moron.

I see the couple and ask them how the walk was, and everyone is enjoying Yoyogi park, I mean its not raining and it's a NICE park. I see some skaters and wonder how they can be sweating less than me and smell better when it looks much harder, and keep on keeping on. I am doing laps and passing the same people over and over, each time staring down their beer, and each time they raise it to me and give me a thumbs up. I can't help but laugh, I mean... it IS a great day for a beer in the park.

So my run ends and since I'm sweating even worse than a pig, (whatever like I care you're disgusted) I go to the far corner thinking no one is there. But in the corner is a drunk group of Japanese guys, and a group of foriegn guys. Sorry guys I really just don't give a fuck, I gotta stretch. So as I'm stretching, contemplating how my shin could sweat so much, one Japanese guy, in sweaty purple boxers, a black tank top and high tops is in the middle of the field, his friends egging him on as he is throwing a whiffle ball high in the air and attempting to catch in said cotton, sweaty with swamp ass boxer briefs. I think what an ass as it hit him on the head. He does it again.....gets it in. I'm a little surprised and so is everyone else. So everyone says again. And this time tosses it up high, runs to catch it,  and I mean it was direct cock shot, there's no other way to put it really. It's not a rebound like the last one or anything. That was actually impressive, so the foreign guys and his friends yell, and I give him a clap. The foreign guys start laughing because, well I guess because I wasn't completely disgusted, and purple pants boy this he sees his open.

You are not about to hand me that ball after it rubbed your junk, you must be kidding? I so wish that was fiction, but it wasn't. He chucks it to me. Thank god that shit did not hit me, I would have been pissed and shown him how friendly Jerz girls can be. I do laugh and tell him in kind enough Japanese, 'that just touched your ball sac, I'm all set.' The foreign guys on the other side of the field are DYING and egging me on to touch it and play ball. I just shake my head as his friends laugh. I thought that would be enough but his friend calls him over. His friend hands him a little wet-nap packet but instead of antibacterial wet-naps, its AXE wet-naps. Fuck yeah, rub the ball in that and that'll make it clean. His friends start yelling, 'hit on her, hit on her' as he walks over. Meanwhile this kid is still in purple, sweaty boxer briefs and drunk as shit, and I am still sweaty from head to toe and probably maroon in the face. Maybe he thought my complexion and his briefs made a pretty match, I don't even know.

So he comes over with the ball AND the wet-naps and says, ' I can wipe it off if you want to play' and I'm just cracking up at this point and I'm shaking my head but he insists on giving me an AXE wet-nap. I take it cuz I probably really do smell that bad, and start to walk away. I wave bye and get on my way, telling the foreign guys there was no way in hell  I would've touch that and then showed them my wet-nap. I was actually psyched about the wetnap because I had to walk past Harajuku to get home and man, I smelled.

I used my AXE and am now smelling like a sweaty boy wearing AXE while I walk home. Now many people many not know this, and don't get me wrong because I have a list of things that I LOVE about Japanese people and Japan, but I HATE the way how many people walk. How is that? Like the tourists in NYC, or a three year old child, or just a moron. Stumbling back and forth and No, I'm not talking about the drunk people. So I'm almost home and I'm really trying to watch it. It's 6p.m. there's tons of people out even on the side street and I don't think I need to say again what I looked like. My shins were still sweaty. I see this girl, nice, clean and walking like she's looking for superman. She starts to veer left, I go right and at the last second she turns to the guy she was walking with who was ten feet BACK, who was also watching this and to be honest, he saw this coming and was just happy to watch it, this is probably the closest he would ever get to girl on girl action with her anyway. But she whips around and boom, man..... that pretty top coat is going to need dry cleaning. She says sorry as I just freeze with my hands up like she's about to frisk me, and I just look at her. She knows it's her fault, she knew I was trying to dodge her, and now, up close and personal, with a sweaty, smelly foreign girl sweat on her pretty jacket, she knew why.

Poor girl, she won't be getting any with that jacket on. I guess she's got to take it off anyway......