I almost forgot I even had a blog. From September until now has been a whirlwind. I can honestly say that 2011 was the hardest year of my life. 2012 rolled in and brought an extreme amount of change in my life, there was a lot of letting go, moving on and starting new. Now as the new school year starts here in Asia, I can honestly say that for the first time, I feel like I am where I need to be doing exactly what I've always wanted. And being at the start of a fresh new chapter feels amazing.
I celebrated all the change with a trip to Burma. Being a solo traveler, maybe some folks would choose somewhere less.... junta controlled? Who knows. Who cares. For the naysayers, only one thought comes to mind, and since my mother taught me that if I can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, I will be skipping commentary.
BURMA is a beautiful country with the most amazing people I've ever encountered. Full of love and honesty, and contagious on every level. At the start of my trip, I realized how distrustful I had grown of people in general, and being surrounded by caring and loving people was just what the doctor ordered. From the moment I stepped off the plane, I was greeted by people who were willing to help, even after I declined their tour guide service, or taxi ride. They still hung around and asked me if I needed help and gave me an amazing amount of useful information without expecting anything in return. Before I left the airport, I was already in love with the place and people. Yangon is a mess of traffic, food stalls and a mix of growing economy with ancient relics sprinkled here and there. I had the most amazing breakfast buffet at the White Horse Guest House, and if you ever find yourself in need of place, I recommend that place. The rooms are nothing spectacular however the food and kind host made a bunch of us weary travelers feel rejuvenated within an hour of arrival. The owner ushered us up to breakfast where heaps of travelers were already eating a buffet of fruits, breads, vegetables and a spread of jellies that I didn't even know existed. All with a fresh cup of coffee. Oh man. Walking around Yangon during the day was a great way to unwind and there was no particular rush as there is not an overwhelming amount to see. I'd say it was a perfect amount.
Riding north to Bagan, I saw a mix of developed and undeveloped. I am curious to see how the country grows and changes over the next ten years as a new form of government comes into power. Arriving in Bagan, we were again met with the kindness of strangers who walked with us at 4am to our hostel to make sure we got there. When we found our hostel full, we found the same people waiting outside to see if we needed help. They found us clean rooms for a great price, and reminded us to sleep before the festival started.... who were these people. Just locals hanging about, with a desire to help a stranger. Bagan is a maze of old pagodas that you could probably wander for a week without feeling like you've seen enough. Sunsets from the rooftop of pagodas, children calling out to play, eager locals wanting to take pictures with you. I didn't even want to leave.
The long bus rides packed with no A/C is always a downside but when you get to meet 50 new people who all want to exchange travel tales, you hardly care that you're legs are stuck together from sweat and heat. They warned us it was hot.
The small towns and villages may not have many "tourist attractions" but they people and lifestyle will keep you entertained for two weeks easily. You'll be thinking to yourself 'where did the time go? I don't want to leave!!!' before you know it.
Of all my travels, Burma will remain a tender place in my heart. It will change I'm sure, but I hope the kindness and warmth I encountered in the Burmese people, and the tranquility that each place brought does not change.
About Me
- Drunken Kunoichi
- I've seen a fox wedding after a sun shower and climbed ruins in Burma. I think I'll be in trouble if they ever catch me.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, October 3, 2011
Long Time No Thoughts
It's been three months since I actually posted something. I think that's beyond slacking at this point. Summer came and went without me really doing much of anything. I worked, quit my job, found some new jobs and made a few friends, but in the dead heat that is summer in Tokyo, I couldn't get into the feeling of summer.... and before I knew it, my 31st birthday arrived.... and went by, and summer came to an end.
And as September rolled in I got antsy to leave. I hadn't gone anywhere since my trip to Bali, so I decided I needed some time to play. I have never been so happy with my insane decision making skill. I decided on Tuesday that I needed a break, Wednesday was a huge typhoon that shut down everything including my work so I logged online and notice I had tons of extra miles. Check please. Thursday morning I was off. I took off for five days and headed to the hedonistic center of Asia,...BANGKOK! I have never been and in my six years in Asia I am quite embarrassed to admit that. So, with nothing more than a backpack full of contacts and underwear, I headed out.
Thursday I checked into the first hostel I found, a dorm full of five guys... and me. I can't say I was too worried even, it was maybe an after thought after checking in, like oh shit, I really did just sign into a room full of random guys. great... but it was great! I met tons of great new people, and wandered the streets with a few of them. I checked out all the major tourist spots and went to bar after bar after bar..... it is a vacation right? The guys I was with told me to turn on the charm so we could get a few drinks but it turns out, as I'm sure most girls have found, that being a guy in Thailand is way more useful. Two friends and me went out to a local bar and immediately our male server came and sat with us,.... his name was Coco. Just like Coco Chanel only not nearly as fashionable, but much friskier..... with the males that is.
We did get free drinks, and see a great talent show involving ping pongs, razors and more naked girls than I could count after all that tequila, but the free drinks were definitely not a result of my flirting with Coco. I think Coco will truly miss us and the ease with which he was able to fondle my male companions. It takes a man very comfortable with his sexuality to let Coco be as bold as he was, but in the end, it was a win-win for everyone but the fondled guy. I think he felt used and dirty,but we didn't mind selling him out much.
Whatever, what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok..... unless your friends were sober enough to take pictures still.
And as September rolled in I got antsy to leave. I hadn't gone anywhere since my trip to Bali, so I decided I needed some time to play. I have never been so happy with my insane decision making skill. I decided on Tuesday that I needed a break, Wednesday was a huge typhoon that shut down everything including my work so I logged online and notice I had tons of extra miles. Check please. Thursday morning I was off. I took off for five days and headed to the hedonistic center of Asia,...BANGKOK! I have never been and in my six years in Asia I am quite embarrassed to admit that. So, with nothing more than a backpack full of contacts and underwear, I headed out.
Thursday I checked into the first hostel I found, a dorm full of five guys... and me. I can't say I was too worried even, it was maybe an after thought after checking in, like oh shit, I really did just sign into a room full of random guys. great... but it was great! I met tons of great new people, and wandered the streets with a few of them. I checked out all the major tourist spots and went to bar after bar after bar..... it is a vacation right? The guys I was with told me to turn on the charm so we could get a few drinks but it turns out, as I'm sure most girls have found, that being a guy in Thailand is way more useful. Two friends and me went out to a local bar and immediately our male server came and sat with us,.... his name was Coco. Just like Coco Chanel only not nearly as fashionable, but much friskier..... with the males that is.
We did get free drinks, and see a great talent show involving ping pongs, razors and more naked girls than I could count after all that tequila, but the free drinks were definitely not a result of my flirting with Coco. I think Coco will truly miss us and the ease with which he was able to fondle my male companions. It takes a man very comfortable with his sexuality to let Coco be as bold as he was, but in the end, it was a win-win for everyone but the fondled guy. I think he felt used and dirty,but we didn't mind selling him out much.
Whatever, what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok..... unless your friends were sober enough to take pictures still.
Friday, July 1, 2011
why I think Ihave great people skills and should go back to client services
I am currently living in the best part of Tokyo. you know the place Gwen Stefani sings about, Harajuku - that's my side yard. My back yard is Japan's most sacred shrine, Meiji Jingu and the other side of town is where all the seedy dirty shit goes down, ya know where all the whores all. which leads me to my topic. my roommate.
Yeah. she doesn't come home often to our small ass apartment but when she does she's either... mad at me and yelling at me for actually using our kitchen (I'm pretty sure she's never touched anything in it but the brita). The few times she's not bitching, she has a drink in hand complaining about wanting more money or hating japan, she's japanese......
anywho, I am moving out and my landlord was supposed to talk to her about that.... and didn't. So my roommate was asking for rent money and I said no, and she bugged out, she's screaming her head off with drink in hand and it felt GREAT I mean GREAT to not have to hold back- after her tantrum about hating me because I'm not a drunken mess like her, I calmly turned her with a smile, and said you know what? she was all snotty and said WHAT???. and as loud as possible I replied. ' I dont give a fucKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.'
it was service with a smile and it felt SO good.
I also found a supermarket selling a whole pineapple for 99en today and bought two. It was like winning the lottery three times.
1. found a great apartment
2. found fruit that was expensive
3. found a way to let my roommate know how much I care.
Yeah. she doesn't come home often to our small ass apartment but when she does she's either... mad at me and yelling at me for actually using our kitchen (I'm pretty sure she's never touched anything in it but the brita). The few times she's not bitching, she has a drink in hand complaining about wanting more money or hating japan, she's japanese......
anywho, I am moving out and my landlord was supposed to talk to her about that.... and didn't. So my roommate was asking for rent money and I said no, and she bugged out, she's screaming her head off with drink in hand and it felt GREAT I mean GREAT to not have to hold back- after her tantrum about hating me because I'm not a drunken mess like her, I calmly turned her with a smile, and said you know what? she was all snotty and said WHAT???. and as loud as possible I replied. ' I dont give a fucKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.'
it was service with a smile and it felt SO good.
I also found a supermarket selling a whole pineapple for 99en today and bought two. It was like winning the lottery three times.
1. found a great apartment
2. found fruit that was expensive
3. found a way to let my roommate know how much I care.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Why Japanese Guys and White Girls DONT Mix
So this is kind of a second installment to sweaty balls guy.... You didn't think it could get worse did you? It does. right here, right now. So, do you know what an IKEMEN is? Ikeru + Men = A cool guy, shortened to IKEMEN.
Now what American women consider cool and what.... this country considers cool, I'm pretty sure are worlds apart, and when I say worlds, I do mean WORLDS. I was on my way home from the store, just finished my run, threw on a long skirt and tank, no make-up, didn't bother to comb home my hair, the standard less than care look I have adapted in Japan.
As I walked home, a guy was walking on the other side of the street and said, 'You have a boyfriend don't you.?' To which, I answered, "huh?' and he stopped to hit on me. His hair took longer to do than mine, but he's wasn't ugly and he didn't have an obnoxious way of talking, and we were on a side street that went on for a bit so I shrugged and let him have a go.
Him: You are really cute, Can I take you out?
Me: No. I don't date.
Him: Why not?
Me: I'm divorced. I'm here making money and studying. I'm just here to do what I need to do, not to play around. How old are you? (Thinking I'll tell him I'm 30 and then he'll be disgusted)
Him: 30, you?
Me: sad.... Oh. 30.
Him: Wow, you're pretty serious. Don't you ever get bored though? Aren't you homesick?
Me: No, when I'm homesick I go out with my friends. (I get bored out of my mind some days working on the computer but it still doesn't mean he would be a cure for bored. This conversation is slowly making me want to sleep.)
Him: Are you sure you don't want to go out and have some fun. I'll pay.
Me: I have my own money but thanks.
Him: Well can I call you sometime and take you out?
Me: Where we going? The museum.
Him: Laughing...... .. No, why the museum.
Me: Not laughing or smiling or amused...... I don't go out drinking often and don't go out with strange dudes.
Him: Wow you are really serious.
Me: Divorce does that. Are we done, I gotta go eat dinner. Do you want an icepop for the road? (I just wanted to eat something and didn't want to be completely rude.)
Him: No. But I want to hang out at least. Am I bothering you?
Me: Not really bothering me, but I want to go eat. Here's my email. If I go out with my friends I'll let you know, if you want to grab a coffee sometime sure.
Him: Cool, that would be fun to go out with your friends.
And I gave him my email and left.
My side note: Most people who want to learn English approach me in Japan. Most people who don't, usually don't talk too much to me in Tokyo. No one really chats you up on the street, and especially not foreign girls, we are ..... well just not as cute as Japanese girls who are willing to wear mini skirts and spend hours on our makeup. And most of the time our Japanese is mediocre so it's not like we can understand. I should feign stupid more often....
His first email: I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you on the street. Thanks for talking with me. I'm actually kind of a ladies man so I'm not a great guy.....I thought you were really cute so I just wanted to chat but if you are ever bored, get in touch, I'd be happy.
Me: Sorry, I didn't see this until now. Thanks, but I have to look for an apartment. I told you I'm just working and studying. I don't care to hang out much.
Him: I want to hug you. (In English) ok? No? I think it would be good. Please let's hang out.
Me: No hugging me. I have friends that are single and cute, I'll introduce you and you can hug them.
Him: No Just you. please. Stupid face picture here.
Me:You're really stupid. I don't want a hug and wouldn't hug a stranger.
Him: Just once I'd like to try a foreigner. (stupid face) just you,(stupid face with heart eyes)
I ignored it... I hate when guys you don't know add faces in a mail, and with hearts. pussy.
Him: I'd try really hard to satisfy you. (stupid face)You definitely won't? (stupid face) I think it's fate we met. (stupid face)
Me: What does that even mean try hard? How can you try when I don't want you near me? I like being on my own and I'm not into dating. I don't want a stranger touching me. That's gross. We can be friends but ....
Him: I just want to try once with a foreigner.
Me: I've heard foreign girls are good in bed when compared but I really wouldn't know. I'm sure Japanese girls are too. I've never been with a Japanese guy so I really couldn't say.I really won't so drop it.
Him: I'm sorry. I'll stop I'm bothering you. I thought you were cute and want to have sex with you,(stupid face) bye bye. (stupid face)
Me: ignored him again...... god this is getting annoying. how to Japanese girls think this kind of whining is cute?
Him: I promised to do it good. I've never been with a foreigner, you haven't with a Japanese person. Let's try sex together. (stupid face)
Me: Look I told you I don't want you and have no interest.I'd find a foreigner if I did. I'm sure you have a fun lifestyle but I think its disgusting. I am sure you like that kind of thing, but I am not into it. But continuing a conversation like this is really annoying. You seem like a pussy and it's really not manly or attractive to whine like a little girl. Foreign girls really don't think that's hot. Maybe Japanese girls think this is cute, but its annoying, you're fucking pathetic.
Him: Bye bye (stupid face)
The next morning I was woken up by this.... and I don't like being woken up but this.......
Him: Ok last time. What if I gave you $100? Still no?
Me: In English this time: You are a scumbag and iIm not a whore you piece of shit. Never email me again or I will find you and stab you to death you pathetic lil bitch.
I can't imagine what I could have said to deter him from trying further, I mean isn't threatening to kill someone really just like a stupid smiley face in an email? How to Japanese girls put up with shit like that? Good god, I want to see him just so I can physically harm him. I don't know if I'm more offended that he propositioned me for sex like a prostitute or the fact that he thought $100 was a good going price. I wouldn't even bitch slap him for that much money. And my friends wonder why I'm single?? Seriously? This is just sad.
For anyone with time. egk5xd0w59m3010qw9p@docomo.ne.jp is the email to harass him at.
Enjoy.
Now what American women consider cool and what.... this country considers cool, I'm pretty sure are worlds apart, and when I say worlds, I do mean WORLDS. I was on my way home from the store, just finished my run, threw on a long skirt and tank, no make-up, didn't bother to comb home my hair, the standard less than care look I have adapted in Japan.
As I walked home, a guy was walking on the other side of the street and said, 'You have a boyfriend don't you.?' To which, I answered, "huh?' and he stopped to hit on me. His hair took longer to do than mine, but he's wasn't ugly and he didn't have an obnoxious way of talking, and we were on a side street that went on for a bit so I shrugged and let him have a go.
Him: You are really cute, Can I take you out?
Me: No. I don't date.
Him: Why not?
Me: I'm divorced. I'm here making money and studying. I'm just here to do what I need to do, not to play around. How old are you? (Thinking I'll tell him I'm 30 and then he'll be disgusted)
Him: 30, you?
Me: sad.... Oh. 30.
Him: Wow, you're pretty serious. Don't you ever get bored though? Aren't you homesick?
Me: No, when I'm homesick I go out with my friends. (I get bored out of my mind some days working on the computer but it still doesn't mean he would be a cure for bored. This conversation is slowly making me want to sleep.)
Him: Are you sure you don't want to go out and have some fun. I'll pay.
Me: I have my own money but thanks.
Him: Well can I call you sometime and take you out?
Me: Where we going? The museum.
Him: Laughing...... .. No, why the museum.
Me: Not laughing or smiling or amused...... I don't go out drinking often and don't go out with strange dudes.
Him: Wow you are really serious.
Me: Divorce does that. Are we done, I gotta go eat dinner. Do you want an icepop for the road? (I just wanted to eat something and didn't want to be completely rude.)
Him: No. But I want to hang out at least. Am I bothering you?
Me: Not really bothering me, but I want to go eat. Here's my email. If I go out with my friends I'll let you know, if you want to grab a coffee sometime sure.
Him: Cool, that would be fun to go out with your friends.
And I gave him my email and left.
My side note: Most people who want to learn English approach me in Japan. Most people who don't, usually don't talk too much to me in Tokyo. No one really chats you up on the street, and especially not foreign girls, we are ..... well just not as cute as Japanese girls who are willing to wear mini skirts and spend hours on our makeup. And most of the time our Japanese is mediocre so it's not like we can understand. I should feign stupid more often....
His first email: I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you on the street. Thanks for talking with me. I'm actually kind of a ladies man so I'm not a great guy.....I thought you were really cute so I just wanted to chat but if you are ever bored, get in touch, I'd be happy.
Me: Sorry, I didn't see this until now. Thanks, but I have to look for an apartment. I told you I'm just working and studying. I don't care to hang out much.
Him: I want to hug you. (In English) ok? No? I think it would be good. Please let's hang out.
Me: No hugging me. I have friends that are single and cute, I'll introduce you and you can hug them.
Him: No Just you. please. Stupid face picture here.
Me:You're really stupid. I don't want a hug and wouldn't hug a stranger.
Him: Just once I'd like to try a foreigner. (stupid face) just you,(stupid face with heart eyes)
I ignored it... I hate when guys you don't know add faces in a mail, and with hearts. pussy.
Him: I'd try really hard to satisfy you. (stupid face)You definitely won't? (stupid face) I think it's fate we met. (stupid face)
Me: What does that even mean try hard? How can you try when I don't want you near me? I like being on my own and I'm not into dating. I don't want a stranger touching me. That's gross. We can be friends but ....
Him: I just want to try once with a foreigner.
Me: I've heard foreign girls are good in bed when compared but I really wouldn't know. I'm sure Japanese girls are too. I've never been with a Japanese guy so I really couldn't say.I really won't so drop it.
Him: I'm sorry. I'll stop I'm bothering you. I thought you were cute and want to have sex with you,(stupid face) bye bye. (stupid face)
Me: ignored him again...... god this is getting annoying. how to Japanese girls think this kind of whining is cute?
Him: I promised to do it good. I've never been with a foreigner, you haven't with a Japanese person. Let's try sex together. (stupid face)
Me: Look I told you I don't want you and have no interest.I'd find a foreigner if I did. I'm sure you have a fun lifestyle but I think its disgusting. I am sure you like that kind of thing, but I am not into it. But continuing a conversation like this is really annoying. You seem like a pussy and it's really not manly or attractive to whine like a little girl. Foreign girls really don't think that's hot. Maybe Japanese girls think this is cute, but its annoying, you're fucking pathetic.
Him: Bye bye (stupid face)
The next morning I was woken up by this.... and I don't like being woken up but this.......
Him: Ok last time. What if I gave you $100? Still no?
Me: In English this time: You are a scumbag and iIm not a whore you piece of shit. Never email me again or I will find you and stab you to death you pathetic lil bitch.
I can't imagine what I could have said to deter him from trying further, I mean isn't threatening to kill someone really just like a stupid smiley face in an email? How to Japanese girls put up with shit like that? Good god, I want to see him just so I can physically harm him. I don't know if I'm more offended that he propositioned me for sex like a prostitute or the fact that he thought $100 was a good going price. I wouldn't even bitch slap him for that much money. And my friends wonder why I'm single?? Seriously? This is just sad.
For anyone with time. egk5xd0w59m3010qw9p@docomo.ne.jp is the email to harass him at.
Enjoy.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Is it a full moon? Or just free viewings?
Today was a weird day. First off, 16 years ago today, I lost a good friend, and so I didn't sleep much. I always get sentimental and remorseful since he's not here and I get everything I want so last night before I went to bed, I asked life to help me get up early. I'm so sick of rolling out of bed and feeling like someone just kicked me in the face. I just want some sunshine and a morning run.
5:24am. Well I'm awake. But sadly it's raining, but I remember what I asked and decide not to waste the day so I get up and do some yoga, have some fruit and start my work... which is from home, so I don't even need to shower. For once, I ACTUALLY sit through a full 8 hours of work and finish everything I was supposed to accomplish this week. Mid-day, I see this bright thing in the sky...... what is that?? It isn't,,... it can't possibly... no yup, it's actual sunshine. I think its been raining for..... for so long I can't remember when I saw the sun last. And just in time to love it up.
I jump into my Nike's, flick on my ipod and am off. Now regularly I would just ignore the world, literally you could be choking on a gumdrop and I'd keep running. I would. I love running and well... the sun is out! I see a couple who is obviously lost so I stop and be a good Samaritan for once. They are looking for the park that I'm going to, so I give them directions and tell them I'm running the long way but if they get lost I'll find them again so not to worry. I run for 8 mile, glorious miles of sunshine, sweat and swamp ass. Yeah, swamp ass. Did you really think girls stayed pretty while trying to improve their running time? Well we don't moron.
I see the couple and ask them how the walk was, and everyone is enjoying Yoyogi park, I mean its not raining and it's a NICE park. I see some skaters and wonder how they can be sweating less than me and smell better when it looks much harder, and keep on keeping on. I am doing laps and passing the same people over and over, each time staring down their beer, and each time they raise it to me and give me a thumbs up. I can't help but laugh, I mean... it IS a great day for a beer in the park.
So my run ends and since I'm sweating even worse than a pig, (whatever like I care you're disgusted) I go to the far corner thinking no one is there. But in the corner is a drunk group of Japanese guys, and a group of foriegn guys. Sorry guys I really just don't give a fuck, I gotta stretch. So as I'm stretching, contemplating how my shin could sweat so much, one Japanese guy, in sweaty purple boxers, a black tank top and high tops is in the middle of the field, his friends egging him on as he is throwing a whiffle ball high in the air and attempting to catch in said cotton, sweaty with swamp ass boxer briefs. I think what an ass as it hit him on the head. He does it again.....gets it in. I'm a little surprised and so is everyone else. So everyone says again. And this time tosses it up high, runs to catch it, and I mean it was direct cock shot, there's no other way to put it really. It's not a rebound like the last one or anything. That was actually impressive, so the foreign guys and his friends yell, and I give him a clap. The foreign guys start laughing because, well I guess because I wasn't completely disgusted, and purple pants boy this he sees his open.
You are not about to hand me that ball after it rubbed your junk, you must be kidding? I so wish that was fiction, but it wasn't. He chucks it to me. Thank god that shit did not hit me, I would have been pissed and shown him how friendly Jerz girls can be. I do laugh and tell him in kind enough Japanese, 'that just touched your ball sac, I'm all set.' The foreign guys on the other side of the field are DYING and egging me on to touch it and play ball. I just shake my head as his friends laugh. I thought that would be enough but his friend calls him over. His friend hands him a little wet-nap packet but instead of antibacterial wet-naps, its AXE wet-naps. Fuck yeah, rub the ball in that and that'll make it clean. His friends start yelling, 'hit on her, hit on her' as he walks over. Meanwhile this kid is still in purple, sweaty boxer briefs and drunk as shit, and I am still sweaty from head to toe and probably maroon in the face. Maybe he thought my complexion and his briefs made a pretty match, I don't even know.
So he comes over with the ball AND the wet-naps and says, ' I can wipe it off if you want to play' and I'm just cracking up at this point and I'm shaking my head but he insists on giving me an AXE wet-nap. I take it cuz I probably really do smell that bad, and start to walk away. I wave bye and get on my way, telling the foreign guys there was no way in hell I would've touch that and then showed them my wet-nap. I was actually psyched about the wetnap because I had to walk past Harajuku to get home and man, I smelled.
I used my AXE and am now smelling like a sweaty boy wearing AXE while I walk home. Now many people many not know this, and don't get me wrong because I have a list of things that I LOVE about Japanese people and Japan, but I HATE the way how many people walk. How is that? Like the tourists in NYC, or a three year old child, or just a moron. Stumbling back and forth and No, I'm not talking about the drunk people. So I'm almost home and I'm really trying to watch it. It's 6p.m. there's tons of people out even on the side street and I don't think I need to say again what I looked like. My shins were still sweaty. I see this girl, nice, clean and walking like she's looking for superman. She starts to veer left, I go right and at the last second she turns to the guy she was walking with who was ten feet BACK, who was also watching this and to be honest, he saw this coming and was just happy to watch it, this is probably the closest he would ever get to girl on girl action with her anyway. But she whips around and boom, man..... that pretty top coat is going to need dry cleaning. She says sorry as I just freeze with my hands up like she's about to frisk me, and I just look at her. She knows it's her fault, she knew I was trying to dodge her, and now, up close and personal, with a sweaty, smelly foreign girl sweat on her pretty jacket, she knew why.
Poor girl, she won't be getting any with that jacket on. I guess she's got to take it off anyway......
5:24am. Well I'm awake. But sadly it's raining, but I remember what I asked and decide not to waste the day so I get up and do some yoga, have some fruit and start my work... which is from home, so I don't even need to shower. For once, I ACTUALLY sit through a full 8 hours of work and finish everything I was supposed to accomplish this week. Mid-day, I see this bright thing in the sky...... what is that?? It isn't,,... it can't possibly... no yup, it's actual sunshine. I think its been raining for..... for so long I can't remember when I saw the sun last. And just in time to love it up.
I jump into my Nike's, flick on my ipod and am off. Now regularly I would just ignore the world, literally you could be choking on a gumdrop and I'd keep running. I would. I love running and well... the sun is out! I see a couple who is obviously lost so I stop and be a good Samaritan for once. They are looking for the park that I'm going to, so I give them directions and tell them I'm running the long way but if they get lost I'll find them again so not to worry. I run for 8 mile, glorious miles of sunshine, sweat and swamp ass. Yeah, swamp ass. Did you really think girls stayed pretty while trying to improve their running time? Well we don't moron.
I see the couple and ask them how the walk was, and everyone is enjoying Yoyogi park, I mean its not raining and it's a NICE park. I see some skaters and wonder how they can be sweating less than me and smell better when it looks much harder, and keep on keeping on. I am doing laps and passing the same people over and over, each time staring down their beer, and each time they raise it to me and give me a thumbs up. I can't help but laugh, I mean... it IS a great day for a beer in the park.
So my run ends and since I'm sweating even worse than a pig, (whatever like I care you're disgusted) I go to the far corner thinking no one is there. But in the corner is a drunk group of Japanese guys, and a group of foriegn guys. Sorry guys I really just don't give a fuck, I gotta stretch. So as I'm stretching, contemplating how my shin could sweat so much, one Japanese guy, in sweaty purple boxers, a black tank top and high tops is in the middle of the field, his friends egging him on as he is throwing a whiffle ball high in the air and attempting to catch in said cotton, sweaty with swamp ass boxer briefs. I think what an ass as it hit him on the head. He does it again.....gets it in. I'm a little surprised and so is everyone else. So everyone says again. And this time tosses it up high, runs to catch it, and I mean it was direct cock shot, there's no other way to put it really. It's not a rebound like the last one or anything. That was actually impressive, so the foreign guys and his friends yell, and I give him a clap. The foreign guys start laughing because, well I guess because I wasn't completely disgusted, and purple pants boy this he sees his open.
You are not about to hand me that ball after it rubbed your junk, you must be kidding? I so wish that was fiction, but it wasn't. He chucks it to me. Thank god that shit did not hit me, I would have been pissed and shown him how friendly Jerz girls can be. I do laugh and tell him in kind enough Japanese, 'that just touched your ball sac, I'm all set.' The foreign guys on the other side of the field are DYING and egging me on to touch it and play ball. I just shake my head as his friends laugh. I thought that would be enough but his friend calls him over. His friend hands him a little wet-nap packet but instead of antibacterial wet-naps, its AXE wet-naps. Fuck yeah, rub the ball in that and that'll make it clean. His friends start yelling, 'hit on her, hit on her' as he walks over. Meanwhile this kid is still in purple, sweaty boxer briefs and drunk as shit, and I am still sweaty from head to toe and probably maroon in the face. Maybe he thought my complexion and his briefs made a pretty match, I don't even know.
So he comes over with the ball AND the wet-naps and says, ' I can wipe it off if you want to play' and I'm just cracking up at this point and I'm shaking my head but he insists on giving me an AXE wet-nap. I take it cuz I probably really do smell that bad, and start to walk away. I wave bye and get on my way, telling the foreign guys there was no way in hell I would've touch that and then showed them my wet-nap. I was actually psyched about the wetnap because I had to walk past Harajuku to get home and man, I smelled.
I used my AXE and am now smelling like a sweaty boy wearing AXE while I walk home. Now many people many not know this, and don't get me wrong because I have a list of things that I LOVE about Japanese people and Japan, but I HATE the way how many people walk. How is that? Like the tourists in NYC, or a three year old child, or just a moron. Stumbling back and forth and No, I'm not talking about the drunk people. So I'm almost home and I'm really trying to watch it. It's 6p.m. there's tons of people out even on the side street and I don't think I need to say again what I looked like. My shins were still sweaty. I see this girl, nice, clean and walking like she's looking for superman. She starts to veer left, I go right and at the last second she turns to the guy she was walking with who was ten feet BACK, who was also watching this and to be honest, he saw this coming and was just happy to watch it, this is probably the closest he would ever get to girl on girl action with her anyway. But she whips around and boom, man..... that pretty top coat is going to need dry cleaning. She says sorry as I just freeze with my hands up like she's about to frisk me, and I just look at her. She knows it's her fault, she knew I was trying to dodge her, and now, up close and personal, with a sweaty, smelly foreign girl sweat on her pretty jacket, she knew why.
Poor girl, she won't be getting any with that jacket on. I guess she's got to take it off anyway......
What is this crap?
I realized after turning 30 that there was a whole world of how should I say it.... gray areas, that they never gave me an instruction manual to help get through. What happens when I really F*** up? And I don’t mean like ‘oops that’s no good’; I mean the day you realize the life you have is completely horrible. Or when friendships end, or when you find yourself 6000 miles from home thinking, is the road my home? Or when you’re the odd person out, and I don’t mean in dodge ball, I mean in life. Or when people keep dying and you’re finally catching up to everyone else that reached mature and you start thinking, I’m going to die one day. Or even worse after you’ve come to that conclusion, and for the first time, you feel regret.
I have had many times where even my parents’ advice fell short of comforting because to be honest, they didn't grow up the way we did. With all the options and individuality life has presented to us, it’s like we were also presented with these forks in the road where we are left staring, thinking, there's no ‘Dummy's book for this shit’
And sometimes because no one told you that you were going to have to deal with this, without warning, it blows up in your face and you're left sitting there staring, pondering, well what the hell do I do now? How do I pick myself back up?
I don't know. I'm just saying I know I’ve seen that, I’ve been there. So here is my blog. Not really because I feel like what I have to say is important, but more because after striking up a conversation with a complete stranger and probably telling them more than is normal, I have them laughing and they are saying, ‘I can't believe you don't write this stuff down’. Sadly, when I get home the epiphany is usually gone, and I stare at the screen trying to think of what made them laugh?
And sometimes because no one told you that you were going to have to deal with this, without warning, it blows up in your face and you're left sitting there staring, pondering, well what the hell do I do now? How do I pick myself back up?
I don't know. I'm just saying I know I’ve seen that, I’ve been there. So here is my blog. Not really because I feel like what I have to say is important, but more because after striking up a conversation with a complete stranger and probably telling them more than is normal, I have them laughing and they are saying, ‘I can't believe you don't write this stuff down’. Sadly, when I get home the epiphany is usually gone, and I stare at the screen trying to think of what made them laugh?
But now I live in Japan, Now I have pocket wifi, an Itouch and a Blogspot App.
oooooh.
So as I roam the world, mostly downtown Tokyo until I have more funds that is, I meet people unlike me and quite like me that have run into the same gray areas and I decided to write down the common experiences, and hope that, well we all know I won't be mending stuff for you when I can barely take care of myself as you'll soon see, but at least you can walk away feeling, wow, someone else has had that happen, and she's way crazier than me. Sigh Of Relief.
I'll also add in the weird shit that happens to me quite frequently here. As I told a friend recently, I wouldn't call it bad luck because it does make me laugh and others laugh, but its definitely.... interesting luck.
And at that. Enjoy.
So as I roam the world, mostly downtown Tokyo until I have more funds that is, I meet people unlike me and quite like me that have run into the same gray areas and I decided to write down the common experiences, and hope that, well we all know I won't be mending stuff for you when I can barely take care of myself as you'll soon see, but at least you can walk away feeling, wow, someone else has had that happen, and she's way crazier than me. Sigh Of Relief.
I'll also add in the weird shit that happens to me quite frequently here. As I told a friend recently, I wouldn't call it bad luck because it does make me laugh and others laugh, but its definitely.... interesting luck.
And at that. Enjoy.
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